- March 5th, 2013
maybe from up here, bright eyes will travel through the clouds and land beside your ear while you sleep. and maybe it'll make your bed a little more comfortable. maybe it'll play like a self-help audiobook. that's what all good records amount to, anyway. some of them break you down, and the others build you back up. maybe one day i'll be the one crying, and you'll have to hold me.
the last time i really cried was at my uncle's funeral. he was like my second dad. He lived just across the street from our house while I was growing up.
recovered alcoholic, sober for 26 years the day he died, he stood by me through all the shit I went through, and never judged any of it, or me, for a second.
I got the call when I was at work that they didn't think he was going to make it much longer, and I had to leave in the middle of my shift to go catch a ferry and see him in the hospital a couple days before he passed. I did pretty well in front of him, smiling and holding his hand. When it came time to go, he told me he was proud of me, and he told me to pick hunter up and spin him around three times. I hugged him, and said I would.
then I walked out of his room, and out into the hallway of that hospital, and broke down. my brother came up behind me and hugged me from behind for what seemed like an hour while I cried.
At his funeral, the dancers hit their drums so loud, and they danced around his coffin, wailing and thumping, and I swear I could feel him finally leaving. And it was a beautiful, heartbreaking feeling.
When they buried him, I held my dad close and looked up at the sky while they started to pile the dirt on. Out of nowhere, a swarm of dragonflies came. they circled above us for a good, long while, until the shovels started patting the dirt down. one dragonfly stayed alone for awhile after that. I choose to believe that it was him.
Maybe, what I'm saying is that we always forget that we're connected to everything. There are no breaks in the circle, and there is no hierarchy.
After I got home, I took Hunter outside into the sunshine, and I picked him up and spun him around three times.